Emergent Things

Yesterday, for the first time in my admittedly young career, I assigned an in-class timed writing as a whole-class punishment. The group has been problematic year-round, struggling both academically and behaviorally. With me being passive in nature, this proved initially problematic, though, as time has passed, I have strengthened my approach.

I took yesterday off work to celebrate my wife’s birthday. The last time this group -- we’ll call them Group X -- was left with a sub, the report was negative. I’ve never liked negative sub reports, as I feel that they show someone that I’m not as competent as I should be. So, the day before I took off, I told the class that they would have to complete a timed essay should I receive a negative report again.

What I received was the most negative report I have ever read. Initially, I thought the punishing essay would bring me peace. After all, I was being consistent with what I had told them, and some small part of me thought -- and still does -- that experience would forever change their behavior in my class. When students began filing in today, though, all asking if they would have to write an essay, my response of “yes” was harder to swallow each time. It wasn’t until one student came in -- a positive student, by all means -- and asked the same question that the gravity of what I had decided on settled.

“I don’t mean to be disrespectful, Mr. Shaw, but that is really unfair,” she said.

She was right. It was unfair. The sub had even told me that this student, this exceptional young lady, had been spectacular. Yet, here she was, being punished simply for being a part of Group X.

When they began their essays (they did this silently and, for the most part, without protest), I watched and struggled with what I had decided. Group X is largely repeaters and struggling learners. For the most part, I feel that a good number of them act out because English is not their strong suit, and, despite my efforts, I have yet to find something that clicks. It wasn’t even the “good” kids that made me feel guilty, either. It was these struggling kids, too. What lesson was I teaching them? The assignment was content- and skill-relevant, but it wasn’t the best way to go about anything.

Yet, there they sat, all thirty of them, writing away. No protest. Just compliance.

Is compliance what this gig is about, though? Does engagement matter if it is the result of submission? These things bugged me as I watched them write, and I couldn’t settle my thoughts.

So, I took out a stack of post-its and a pen, and I started writing. First, I wrote two notes, one to each of the students my sub had said did exceptional jobs. I wrote that I noticed their efforts, and that they’ve been fantastic year-round, and, that while it was unfortunate what I had assigned to them, I recognized and appreciated how they work and encouraged them to keep it up. I delivered these to both of them. One smiled and put it in her folder. The other -- the one who had sparked these thoughts -- crumpled it up and put it in her pocket. That was fair, I suppose.

Then, and perhaps more importantly, I wrote more notes, these ones to those who had been a thorn in my side for so many weeks but had now decided to comply. To this kids, I wrote that I recognized their efforts today, that I was excited to read their essays, and that I was proud of them and what they had accomplished. There were a few too many of them for me to notice how they all reacted, but one kid raised his hand and handed me the note back. I look at it quizzically, at which point he flipped it over. He had written “Thanks!” with a smiley face. I told him “you’re welcome,” then handed it back for him to keep.

Another kid raised his hand and asked for tape. I was hesitant at first, but he had finished his essay, so I figured there was no harm. I handed it to him and walked away, and when I returned, I noticed he had taped it to his chest. When I saw him at the end of the day, it was still there.

One of the things that keeps me in this profession is the almost consistent ability to repair situations. While I am still torn on my decision to assign that essay, and some kids will hold a grudge against me because of it, it gave some of them the opportunity to shine and be proud, and it gave me the opportunity to sit back, reflect, and recognize them for what they had achieved. And for me, that made the day worthwhile.